discarding in waves

When I first started my tidying journey, I thought one big weekend was going to be the start and end of minimizing my belongings and maximizing joy. Even typing this out, I realize now how silly it was to think it so simple. It's like the curse of the "final" delivery file, leaving you with a submission titled  comission_v02_edit03_finalthistime_SUBMITTED.png.
The reality has been much more gradual. I tend to fixate on instant gratification: one day shipping, instantly finding a buyer for furniture I'm selling, getting a reply email 5 minutes after it's sent. Through the process of tidying I'm learning yet again how to be a Work in Progress and have peace with the state of my home. I'm in a constant state of refining what criteria I use to discard and keep possessions. Each time I discard, it becomes easier to identify what is important. 

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Week 1
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I used my newfound joy-detection from Marie Kondo to go through my closet and discard anything that didn't spark joy when I hold it or tried it on. At least, I thought I discarded "anything." I filled up 2 garbage bags full of clothes to donate, and felt that now I finally had my ideal, lightweight closet. I looked at it with satisfaction. At that point, I still had two under-bed storage containers full of costumes and seasonal clothing, not to mention another bag full of bathing suits. I tried to put those out of my mind, since they were out of sight in any case. 

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Week 2
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In clothes-tidying round 2, I immediately attacked all of the items I'd been ruminating on during the weekdays. There were tops I decided to hold onto that I changed my mind on. I tried to remember the last time I wore any of my skirts. With a freshly fiery determination, I bagged another whole pile of clothes and felt satisfied yet again. Now I'm done. 

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​Week 3
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Nope. 
At this point I'd started reading Goodbye Things by Fumio Sasaki and my discarding criteria was turned on its head yet again. I had a new ideal: I only wanted to see things I felt good in and enjoyed wearing inside my closet. In addition, I decided to take Marie Kondo's advice and get rid of seasonal clothing storage -- EVERYTHING was going in the closet. I sat on the floor, surrounded by various sweaters and Halloween costumes I'd been hesitant to part with, and steeled myself yet again for a more brutal takedown. I saved all but two of my most re-wearable costumes and discarded bikinis since I now prefer one-piece suits. I kept only my favorite sweaters since I get to wear them 10 days out of the year. Success! I was finally done! 

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Week 4 
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NOOOOOOPE. 
Goodbye Things was still gnawing away at me. I sorted through my desk materials and get brutally honest with myself about folders and clipboards and extra never-used pens. The result was four newly empty plastic drawers. Could I fit all of the clothes from our dresser into the closet if I use those drawers? 
It was worth a try. I rearranged, which is my favorite part of tidying, since it's like puzzle solving to find the right way to make things fit. I'm finding that the puzzles get easier the more I minimize. Not only could I fit David and I's clothes in the closet, but I could fit our laundry basket in there as well. This was a huge and exciting change, since getting rid of our dresser would mean much more room and ease of movement in our bedroom. 
I donated even more clothes and I was able to move my meds and makeup boxes into my side of the closet on top of my clothing bins. It's now a  one stop shop for all of my morning needs. 

And the weird and cool thing is, as always, I can't really remember what I've discarded now. I know there were many objects and many items of clothing. I feel like their weight has left me, and the memory of the guilt and dust they collected has gone with it. 

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Will I probably always think I'm done, that I've reached the final stage of my home? Most likely. Little by little that stubborn need for final-ness is fading away, and I hope I can find more joy in the Now that is my house, instead of the ideal I hope it'll become. ​